4 minutes
Have you ever noticed how a parent scolds a child who is fighting with a sibling?
"Don't hit your sister!" or "Don't tease your brother."
Parents use family position instead of given names when barking these commands. Why? I think the stronger message is, "We are a family and that is not how you treat your family."
Throughout the ages, healthy families that stick together have a better chance of survival for the individuals in the family. Good parents understand this, if even on an instinctual level, and shape their words to instill the message, "Be good to your family. "
My book, Motherhood is the New MBA: Using Your Parenting Skills to be a Better Boss, takes the principles of good parenting and applies them to the office. I've spent the past six years taking the things I'm learning as a parent and experimenting with them at my credit union.
After stumbling upon my "how parents build allegiance" observation, I decided to try it at work. It took awhile, but I finally spotted my chance.
Someone on my staff was telling me of a challenging time they had with another department. After listening to the story, I responded, "I'm happy that you are working toward a solution with your teammate."
Even though the person she was telling me about was not in our department, I still referred to him as our "teammate." I wanted to communicate that we are on the same team.
As a manager, it's tempting to create empires. Nothing bonds a team quicker than an "us against them" mentality. Whether it's back office against front line, marketing against finance, or employees against management, it's easy to build small tribes within a bigger organization. It's easy, but it's not always best for your credit union.
Just like fighting with your siblings is bad for the family, interdepartmental bickering is bad for your company. It is particularly dangerous for us right now. Squabbling is time consuming, resource draining and morale dampening. If we are going to survive this economy we have to do a lot of things well and one of them, simple as it may sound, is get along.
If you are the boss of other people, it is your job to make sure people work well together so your credit union runs efficiently and effectively. Here are three things you can do to help your department play well with others.
- Set a good example. As a manager, you are always on stage. Your employees watch you and take their cues from you. If you want them to work well with others, than you must work well with others. Do not complain about other departments or other teammates. Demonstrate what working well together looks like.
- Question intentions. When someone does something that annoys you or your team, take a step back and ask, "Why did they do that?" Seeking first to understand does wonders in diffusing tension.
- Examine your own actions. Take stock of how you are affecting others. What kind of emotional wake do you leave? Work on it as a team. Have discussions that start with, "When we respond like x, what kind of a position does that put others in?"
This economy is throwing new challenges and new surprises at us almost daily. We will not weather the storm if we trip over our own internal quarrels. Every office has office politics, but a good manager must guide staff away from them.
Shari Storm is VP/chief marketing officer for $382 million Verity Credit Union, Seattle, and a CUES member.
